To Break or Not To Break?

That is the question. We've only been trying for one month, and that was an unsuccessful month. Which is okay - I'm trying to keep my hopes in check and remind myself that just b/c we conceived the 1st month of trying last time, doesn't mean that we will conceive immediately this time around. But you see, next month is Girls Weekend. A weekend at the beach with a group of girls from college and this is our 9th year going! We go twice/year and although not everyone consumes the adult beverages, I'm one that never turns one down.

This year, I have to figure out if I want to take a break from trying for one month so I can consume alcohol w/o concern that there is a baby in my womb or not take a break and not consume alcohol b/c there very well may be a baby in my womb! I will only be 2 weeks along (really 4 b/c of the whack way that pregnancy weeks are calculated) but I will be too early for a pregnancy test to detect a pregnancy. So I won't want to compromise the pregnancy by being irresponsible and drinking.

It's interesting - I hadn't mentioned these thoughts I've been having to Steve b/c part of me thinks it is ridiculous that I'm even THINKING these thoughts, but the other night he asked if I wanted to not try this month so I could drink at Girls Weekend.

Is drinking more important to me than conceiving a baby? No, it's not, but we're only one month in to trying and I guess I think that taking our 2nd month of trying off isn't too bad. Is it? Or Is it?

Queso Question

I am a cheese-o-holic. Seriously. I love cheese. Once one becomes prego, there are certain cheeses that are a no-no to be consumed...one of them being queso. Now don't get me wrong, I don't eat mexican food every night, but when I do, I like me some queso!

The question that keeps haunting my mind is this - do the women of the Hispanic culture stop eating queso when they get prego? B/c that is what they eat often, right? They swim in queso probably! I don't mean for this to sound racist. But do they cut queso out of their diet?

Something to ponder.

And we're back...

Well - we're back on the baby-making wagon - trying again. I'm ready. I'm so ready. I will go into this next pregnancy with a positive attitude! I will not let my mind be consumed with the "what ifs". I will take each day as it comes and be thankful for what God blesses me with. Here goes nothing!

Book Error

Pregnancy tests aren't cheap. Digital pregnancy tests cost a little more than your standard "1 or 2 lines" and "negative or cross sign" tests, but for more certainty - Steve requested I go digital. So after taking a total of 3 "negative or cross sign" tests...1 showing a negative reading b/c I took it too soon and the other 2 showing a positive reading, I purchased a 5 pack of digitals for better confirmation. I took the digital test and the pregnancy was more clear - digital reading of PREGNANT came back that Saturday in September.

Just to be sure my body was still reading as pregnant - I took another digital 2 weeks later. It still read PREGNANT. Sadly, as we all know, I really wasn't anymore. :(

So that leaves 3 digitals and 1 "negative or cross sign" test left. Since I had to re-test yesterday, I chose to use digital. I peed on the stick, kept the stick facing down, capped it and then laid it on the bathroom counter. I stared at the blinking hour glass in anticipation - hoping the screen would read NOT PREGNANT. Instead I got a small picture of an open book and an arrow in the top right of the screen. What did that mean? I pulled out the instructions and they said that it was called a "book error" - an error in the test reading. I either didn't keep the stick facing down after peeing on it, didn't lay it flat on the counter, didn't hold it under my pee stream for 5 seconds or I peed too much or too little on the stick. I didn't think I did anything wrong, so I chalked it up to a wasted test (bummer - $ wasted) and decided I would re-test in the morning. I didn't have any pee left in me anyway.

So this morning I opened another digital (leaving me with only 1 digital and 1 "negative or cross sign" test) and peed on the stick. I decided to hop in the shower b/c what was the point in wasting precious time to start getting ready when the reading will be the same if I wait or if I carry on with my morning routine. After my shower, I glanced at the stick. NOT PREGNANT.

Whew. Relief. I think my mom was more worried about this reading than I was b/c she emailed me yesterday to remind me to let her know the results and reminded again me when we spoke on the phone on my way home from work. I was sure to email her last night to let her know I would be testing again in the AM due to the error and she called soon after I arrived at work - so I was able to confirm all was well.

Next step - a regular cycle and we'll be back on track to start trying to create life again. yay!

Pregnancy Re-test

Tonight I will take a pregnancy test to confirm it's negative reading and anxiously await my next cycle so that Steve and I can start trying for BB2. It's hard to believe that 3 weeks have already passed since my last visit to the doctor to confirm our pregnancy had terminated.

I'm looking forward to our next chance at pregnancy. And sending up many, many prayers that this next one is carried to term and a healthy baby baum is in our arms sooner rather than later.

Here's to trying to for #2...

Optimistic

Yesterday I had my follow-up OB appointment to make sure my body and therefore my uterus has rid the pregnancy. I got there right on time and only waited a few minutes before I was called back. I was asked to give a urine sample and wait for the nurse to prep the exam room. Once the room was ready I was asked to undress from the waist down. Dr. F came in and apologized that we were meeting under these circumstances. We talked about what my body had experienced since my visit the Monday before. We talked about how she doesn't feel my Factor V Leiden was an issue in this miscarriage b/c usually w/ Factor V, the pregnancies terminate further along in the pregnancy. She told me I didn't have to have a pelvic exam, that we could just do an ultrasound to confirm everything has been taken care of. Thank goodness - the ultrasound is invasive enough, although it's not as bad as a pelvic in my opinion! I got dressed and was taken to the ultrasound room. The room where my pregnancy was confirmed - how fitting. I undressed again and waited. I was told my urine was still testing positive for the pregnancy, but the doc said that is normal at this stage.

Dr. F confirmed that the baby/sac was gone, but there is still some lining in my uterus that my body needs to get rid of. I will retest at home in 2 weeks and I should get a negative reading. If I don't, then it's back to the doctor! But I'm optimistic that the test will read negative.

And then (where my optimism really comes into play) Dr. F said after I get my 1st period - we could start trying again! I thought for SURE we would have to wait about 3 months - for 3 cycles! Of course, we could start trying and it could take 3 or more months to conceive again, but still - we can start trying again sooner than I thought! I'm ecstatic!

Through this experience I've had so many friends who have been there for me to offer support and words of encouragement. Through my mom's church I met a number of women who have been through this. I found out last night that a co-worker is pregnant (almost 10 weeks) and I shared in the excitement when she shared the news on facebook. I also shared my story with her (not to scare her, but b/c I thought it was neat we were both pregnant at the same time, if only for a short time). She had a lot of questions that I was happy to answer. I'm an open book - I don't hide much from people. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Ask me something and I'll give you an answer and it will be an honest answer at that!

So here I am - anxious again for another date to test again (and optimistic). I never would have thought I would pray for a negative pregnancy test, but in this situation - i am. And I never thought I would be excited (and optimistic) to get my period  - but in this situation - I am. And I can't wait to get back on that baby-making wagon with Steve, as we try for Baby Baum 2 (and remain optimistic)!