Optimistic

Yesterday I had my follow-up OB appointment to make sure my body and therefore my uterus has rid the pregnancy. I got there right on time and only waited a few minutes before I was called back. I was asked to give a urine sample and wait for the nurse to prep the exam room. Once the room was ready I was asked to undress from the waist down. Dr. F came in and apologized that we were meeting under these circumstances. We talked about what my body had experienced since my visit the Monday before. We talked about how she doesn't feel my Factor V Leiden was an issue in this miscarriage b/c usually w/ Factor V, the pregnancies terminate further along in the pregnancy. She told me I didn't have to have a pelvic exam, that we could just do an ultrasound to confirm everything has been taken care of. Thank goodness - the ultrasound is invasive enough, although it's not as bad as a pelvic in my opinion! I got dressed and was taken to the ultrasound room. The room where my pregnancy was confirmed - how fitting. I undressed again and waited. I was told my urine was still testing positive for the pregnancy, but the doc said that is normal at this stage.

Dr. F confirmed that the baby/sac was gone, but there is still some lining in my uterus that my body needs to get rid of. I will retest at home in 2 weeks and I should get a negative reading. If I don't, then it's back to the doctor! But I'm optimistic that the test will read negative.

And then (where my optimism really comes into play) Dr. F said after I get my 1st period - we could start trying again! I thought for SURE we would have to wait about 3 months - for 3 cycles! Of course, we could start trying and it could take 3 or more months to conceive again, but still - we can start trying again sooner than I thought! I'm ecstatic!

Through this experience I've had so many friends who have been there for me to offer support and words of encouragement. Through my mom's church I met a number of women who have been through this. I found out last night that a co-worker is pregnant (almost 10 weeks) and I shared in the excitement when she shared the news on facebook. I also shared my story with her (not to scare her, but b/c I thought it was neat we were both pregnant at the same time, if only for a short time). She had a lot of questions that I was happy to answer. I'm an open book - I don't hide much from people. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Ask me something and I'll give you an answer and it will be an honest answer at that!

So here I am - anxious again for another date to test again (and optimistic). I never would have thought I would pray for a negative pregnancy test, but in this situation - i am. And I never thought I would be excited (and optimistic) to get my period  - but in this situation - I am. And I can't wait to get back on that baby-making wagon with Steve, as we try for Baby Baum 2 (and remain optimistic)!