waiting

i long for my boobs to hurt and my sense of smell to become heightened.

every day i find my self thinking - is this month going to be the month.

i'm totally addicted to mommy blogs - have i said that before?

one blog is written by a girl (i would say woman, but i feel like "woman" sounds so much older than we are, so i like to use girl) who is struggling with infertility. not only does she struggle with infertility, but her husband travels for weeks at a time, so if he's out of town while she's ovulating, it ends up being yet another month of waiting.

another blog i am following is about a girl who struggled with infertility for years and is now pregnant and due in may! yay! i enjoy reading about her pregnancy and reading about pregnancy is actually what turned me on to mommy blogs!

i would be lying if i didn't say that there are days when i wonder how long it's going to take us. i have faith and KNOW that this pregnancy will happen when the time is right. in God's time. not in our time. and that we WILL be blessed.

but the waiting? it's hard. and it's only been 3 months that we've been trying to conceive.

i just have to cast my fears and worries and wonder into the hands of the Lord and be still in knowing that our time will come.